James (flaming_moltres) wrote,

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I'll link in pictures when I'm feeling less lazy. XD

The History of James.

James was born to a ludicrously wealthy family in Sunny Town. How wealthy? Well, his Arcanine Growly's dog house... is a mansion. He seems to have enjoyed his childhood up to the point where he was engaged to a girl named Jessebelle (who looks, of course, just like Jessie). Jessebelle was cruel and sadistic and tried to control his life, so he ran away from home and froze to death in the snow...

Well, that's how he tells the story, anyway.

He couldn't deal with being engaged to a life-controlling dominatrix, and his parents won't let him near the family funds until he marries her. It's unclear whether he actually did run away from home or what, but at some point he went on to meet Jessie at the elite Pokemon school, Pokemon Tech. (Unless you go by the whole "Origin of Love and Youth" OVA, which totally fucks up their backstory and contradicts the rest of the series, even if it is a bit shippy.) They flunked out of the school because they stayed out partying the night before the big test and ended up missing it. What were they doing? Your guess is as good as mine, but I have the distinct feeling it involved lipstick.

After their education crashed and burned, Jessie and James joined a bicycle gang as Big Jess and Little Jim. (Little Jim needed training wheels. &hearts) They were happy and successful as bikers, which is why they left to join Team Rocket. Obviously.

Supposedly, Jessie and James were actually good at Team Rocket before they met Ash. The Boss even gave them his favored talking Meowth, though that may have been the point where he started favoring the probably-far-less-annoying Persian. Upon being zapped by Pikachu, of course, they made it their mission in life to capture the little bugger. They lose a few more brain cells every day.

The highlight of James's life was in the episode where a horoscope book convinced him that he had a Moltres-type personality. He immediately became domineering and - to a certain creepy extent - started winning at life. He had Jessie, Meowth, and even Victreebel following orders. He also put on a spandex chicken outfit and gave the following speech:

I am the flame that burns brightest!
A flame that lights the night!
A flame that shatters the darkness!

...and that's the story of his username!

(I was SO CLOSE to making it "always_the_man," after the Team Rocket Double Trouble song, but James preferred the double entendre of his current name. XD)


Looking good. This does not always mean drag... only frequently. James loves cosplay and makeovers and gazing adoringly at himself in mirrors.
Collecting bottlecaps. James loves his bottlecaps with a raging passion.
Making bad jokes. Like, in reference to the Unown, "I haven't seen this many strange letters since the last time I placed a personal ad."
Trying to be evil. And failing.

James's Pokemon:

I know, I know, James has a Chimeco and a Cactnea now. But! Even though Cacnea is kind of cute... I'm playin' classic James, yo.

WEEZING: Weezing is, IMHO, a kick-ass poison Pokemon, the best you can get. Its levitation ability makes it immune to ground attacks, which means it's only really weak to psychic. It has a tough defense and you can teach it some good TM moves. That having been said, James's Weezing is utterly lame and tends to go down in one hit.
Attacks: Poison Gas, Tackle, Smog, Smokescreen

VICTREEBEL: A grass-type, slightly less useless than Weezing, or would be if it didn't try to eat James every time it came out of its ball. Rather than saying its name, Victreebel makes an ear-piercing screech.
Attacks: Vine Whip, Sweet Scent, Razor Leaf, Sleep Powder
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